My experiences are not universal.
That is a truth I have had to remind myself as I watch my world burn.
I can’t tell anyone how to deal with their trauma. It is not my place. It isn’t the place of any of us to tell each other how to deal with their trauma.
That being said, I am afraid. I’m afraid because I feel as though I’ve seen this before, or something close to it and yet I’m not sure I could tell you what became of it. So I grow increasingly worried as I watch the pain of my nation flow.
What did we expect?
How many times did we think we’d be murdered in broad daylight before something snapped?
A man -supposedly here to protect and serve the people- crushed life from another man for seven minutes while his fellow officers watched.
No one protected George Floyd. People screamed and begged for them not to kill this man.
George begged for his life.
For Seven Minutes. In broad daylight. In front of cameras. In front of witnesses.
All of the things I’ve been raised to believe might protect me.
Light, cameras, witnesses…
…and not a single one of those things saved George Floyd.
And now much of our country is on fire.
What did we expect?
And most of us know that not every single police officer is a monster, but it is getting harder every day to tell when the ones that seem to be in our faces are the ones with their knees on our brothers throats.
Even so, I can not condemn every person with a badge.
To do so would be to become the very thing I am fighting.
But I’m asking for answers.
Where are you?
Where are you when they kill our friends?
When they shove our protesters to the ground and leave them to seize in the street.
When they pelt our reporters with rubber bullets.
I’m asking for an elevation in your voices.
I want to see you screaming in the streets.
I need to hear you.
I need to see you denouncing your colleagues.
& for the ones who I have seen speak up and out in this time,
Keep it up & get louder.
But also be careful, because the system in which we all exist was not designed for you to fight against it.
But that is exactly what you need to do.
It is what we all will have to do.
Because we can not and, we obviously will not continue to go on in this way.
I’m trying to process all of my thoughts in this increasingly difficult time. I was told to rest before I burnout, but I felt the need to write and share. Though, I don’t know if it is helpful at all. My heart is with the people. Sorry for rambling.
P.s. to the people the protestors…be as safe as possible, and keep looking out for each other. Be aware of the instigators hiding amongst you. If you’re somewhere where the national guard has come out, please get somewhere safe.
Here is a link to ways to assist the protestors: https://www.papermag.com/where-to-donate-protests-minneapolis-2646128317.html?rebelltitem=17#rebelltitem17